


She Used to Be Mine

by falsettosland



Category: Falsettos - Lapine/Finn
Genre: Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Songfic, Waitress musical, the other characters are mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-17
Updated: 2017-10-17
Packaged: 2019-01-17 02:12:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12355320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/falsettosland/pseuds/falsettosland
Summary: Trina reflects on her past as she cooks and sings a bit to herself.





	She Used to Be Mine

**Author's Note:**

> Whenever I hear this song I almost always think of Trina and I decided to throw this together quickly as I'm working on other stuff.

Trinastarted at the mess of cooking supplies sprawled out over the counter, sighing as tears started to well up. 

_"It's not simple to say, that most days, I don't recognize me. That these shoes and this apron, that place and its patrons, have taken more than I gave them."_

Trina thought of Marvin and Whizzer. They were so happy together. She spent years playing the happy housewife, making sure everything was perfect for her husband, only to get stabbed in the back as he grabbed another man's ass.   
_"It's not easy to know I'm not anything like I used be, although it's true I was never attention's sweet center, I still remember that girl."_

When she was dating Marvin, she was happy, she was in love. Now she can only try to remain calm as her family is falling apart. As the divorce is taking affect, all she can do is act like the ground isn't moving under her feet.   
_"She's imperfect, but she tries_. S _he is good, but she lies._   _She is hard on herself_ , _she_ _is broken and won't ask for help."_  

Her mother always praised her for being the perfect wife, but she hated it. She was far from perfect. Trina blamed herself for Marvin's infidelity, she wasn't good enough for him. She gasped as she felt the insides of the banana in her hand spill out, she didn't even notice she was squeezing it.   
_"She is messy, but she's kind_.  _She is lonely most of the time_.  _She is all of this mixed up and baked in a beautiful pie_.  _She is gone, but she used to be mine."_

What would her mother say if she saw her now? 'You'll get through this, darling.' That would only make her feel worse. Trina felt so many things at once, and she didn't want anyone's pity. Maybe she should see a psychiatrist...  
_"It's not what I asked for_ , s _ometimes life just slips in through a back door_  and _carves out a person and makes you believe it's all true_.  _And now I've got you."_

She remembered the few times she's met Marvin's shrink. He was nice, a bit awakward and sweaty, but overall nice. Her husband—EX-husband recommended she see him, but she wasn't sure she could trust his opinion anymore. Still, something drew her towards that Mr. Weisenbachfeld.  
_"And you're not what I asked for, if I'm honest, I know I would give it all back for a chance to start over and rewrite an ending or two. For the girl that I knew, who'll be reckless, just enough. Who'll get hurt, but who learns how to toughen up."_

She jumped when a bowl hit the floor, from her flailing arms as she sang to herself. Trina teared up as she kneeled down to pick up the pieces. She rolled up her sleeves to make the job easier, but dropped the pieces in her hand when she saw her wrists.   
_"When she's bruised and gets used by a man who can't love_. _A_ _nd then she'll get stuck_  a _nd be scared of the life that's inside her._  
_Growing stronger each day 'til it finally reminds her_  to _fight just a little, to bring back the fire in her eyes."_  

She quickly cleaned up the broken bowl and pulled down her sleeves, the tight feeling in her chest getting stronger. She remembered being pregnant with Jason. She was so scared, but so happy. She was starting a family with the man she loved. Little did she know he would end up loving another man and constantly lashing out at her.  
_"That's been gone, but used to be mine_ , used _to be mine!"_  

Trina cried out, accidentally burning her hand on the hot stove. She had been so distracted, she wasn't even sure what she was making. A banana pie? What was her deal with bananas?   
_"She is messy, but she's kind_.  _She is lonely most of the time_.  _She is all of this mixed up and baked in a beautiful pie."_

The front door opened, Jason throwing his backpack down near the couch, muttering a 'hello' before running upstairs. 

_"She is gone, but she used to be mine."_

Trina smiled to herself, at least she had her son.


End file.
